Welcome, Charlie!

Today I want to write about leadership in an entirely different context — the world of the family, and the bigger social picture families are part of. My middle daughter and her husband are leaders in this world, for sure. Here’s why: they have recently adopted a baby who happens to be an African-American. Charlie is his name. He came to our family in May, and his adoption was just made final the Tuesday before Thanksgiving in what the court calls his “Gotcha Day.”

Eleven members of my family are not African-American; one is. We don’t know what challenges lie ahead because of this fact, or exactly how we will handle them, other than with love, patience, and as much courage as we can muster.

One such small challenge occurred on Thanksgiving Day. Because not all of our family could be present, part of our group ate lunch together at a local golf course that offers holiday brunch. While we were there, we noticed a woman watching us (our table included two daughters, two sons-in-law, three grandchildren, including Charlie, my husband, and me). Later, as I returned to the table from the buffet, she beckoned to me. I went over to her, and she said, “Whose baby is that?”

Though she didn’t specifically say which of the three she was talking about, I assumed it was Charlie. I responded, “He’s theirs (pointing to his parents). They just adopted him.”

“From where?” she asked.

“Here,” I said. “It was a local adoption.”

“And they’re all three your grandchildren?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “They are.”

I don’t know what was in that woman’s mind, but her questions felt a little judgmental to me. But I think I handled the incident okay.

Charlie came to us because my daughter and her husband wanted a baby, and he was the one they chose. We are glad to have him as part of our family. Already he’s added more smiles and happy gurgles than most babies, and endless more gifts lie in store, I’m sure.  But because Charlie is getting the love and devotion that every child deserves but many do not get, the world is a better, kinder, more loving place.

At the courthouse, the judge spoke to the crowd of parents and newly adopted kids. The father of two adopted daughters himself, he ended his speech with these words: “It’s not about blood. It’s about love.”

Welcome, Charlie!